Bad Dog. [Or, The Day Our Chihuahua Was Arrested.]

She's usually such an angel. . .

I'm not sure where we went wrong?

And I'm still not sure what she did? Drunk Driving? Illegal gambling ring? Excessive tail wagging due to drug use? Licking without consent? She certainly has a lot of explaining to do.  

Artists For Sale. [The King Lives.]

A once in a lifetime, super private, super ridiculous, badass show:

For a measly thousand bucks you can vend yourself one of the greats. After much consideration I chose Elvis. And along with a spectacular performance I received a handful of authentically gold, gold rings and a silk sash with some jeweled accents. It was pretty fucking awesome.   

Toenail Clipper.

I can tell you from firsthand experience that it's pretty cool when your toenail clippings turn into butterflies right before your eyes.