Chocolate Shrimp Cake!

Requires

• 1 3/4 cups unbleached flour
• 2 cups sugar
• 3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder 
• 2 teaspoons baking soda
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 2 big brown eggs
• 1 cup strong brewed black coffee
• 1 cup buttermilk
• 1/2 cup vegetable oil
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 teaspoon fish sauce
• 1 teaspoon sriracha cock sauce
• 13 cooked/peeled shrimp
• 
  

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease and flour two 9 inch round cake pans or one 9x13 inch pan.
2. In large bowl combine flour, sugar, cocoa, baking soda, baking powder and salt. Make a well in the center.
3. Add eggs, coffee, buttermilk, oil, vanilla, fish sauce, and sriracha. Beat for 2 minutes on medium speed. Batter will be thin. Next gently fold 10 shrimp into the batter. Pour into prepared pans. Finally, float remaining 3 shrimp on the surface of one prepared pan of batter.
4. Bake at 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) for 30 to 40 minutes, or until toothpick inserted into center of cake comes out clean. If exposed shrimp begins to burn, gently wrap with tin foil. Cool for 10 minutes, then remove from pans and finish cooling on a wire rack. Fill and frost as desired. Enjoy!

*Original cake-spiration courtesy of Marsha's "Black Magic Cake" which can be found at AllRecipes.com. 

New Zealand & Swimming Monks.

I climbed a mountain in New Zealand to find this:

The most vivid, surreal valley imaginable. It was slightly monet-ish with a sort of blurred multidimensionality. There were also swimming monks. I gathered that their mediation centered around constant swimming, as the water acted as a sort of spiritual enhancer. Trippy, right? I've never been to NZ, is this what I should expect? Hope so, that'd be rad.  

Artists For Sale. [The King Lives.]

A once in a lifetime, super private, super ridiculous, badass show:

For a measly thousand bucks you can vend yourself one of the greats. After much consideration I chose Elvis. And along with a spectacular performance I received a handful of authentically gold, gold rings and a silk sash with some jeweled accents. It was pretty fucking awesome.   

Toenail Clipper.

I can tell you from firsthand experience that it's pretty cool when your toenail clippings turn into butterflies right before your eyes. 

Hot Tub Time Machine.

A few of the gays and I hot-tubbed whilst sipping sparkling wine and popping expired prenatal vitamins. 

...I dunno. Don't ask.

Mile High 'Clubbed': A Transnational Battle Royale.

1. A usual flight, until, "attention passengers, momentarily we will be conducting a Battle Royale. Your participation is required. Thank you in advance for cooperating." 

2. A Flight Attendant separated all the passengers into two groups. The stripes were given samurai swords and the solids were given daggers. 

3. We were all a bit apprehensive.   

4. Reluctance aside, I went in to battle. 

5. It got a little messy but the solids were easily defeated-- turns out I have mad samurai skills. 

6. After all was lost for the solids, the stripes were given refreshments and told that our flight would be landing shortly. I felt like a real badass. Nobody messes with the stripes! 

Librarium.

A swim-flying adventure. No water, just books and fish. 

(delightful.)