Chocolate Shrimp Cake!

Requires

• 1 3/4 cups unbleached flour
• 2 cups sugar
• 3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder 
• 2 teaspoons baking soda
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 2 big brown eggs
• 1 cup strong brewed black coffee
• 1 cup buttermilk
• 1/2 cup vegetable oil
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 teaspoon fish sauce
• 1 teaspoon sriracha cock sauce
• 13 cooked/peeled shrimp
• 
  

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease and flour two 9 inch round cake pans or one 9x13 inch pan.
2. In large bowl combine flour, sugar, cocoa, baking soda, baking powder and salt. Make a well in the center.
3. Add eggs, coffee, buttermilk, oil, vanilla, fish sauce, and sriracha. Beat for 2 minutes on medium speed. Batter will be thin. Next gently fold 10 shrimp into the batter. Pour into prepared pans. Finally, float remaining 3 shrimp on the surface of one prepared pan of batter.
4. Bake at 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) for 30 to 40 minutes, or until toothpick inserted into center of cake comes out clean. If exposed shrimp begins to burn, gently wrap with tin foil. Cool for 10 minutes, then remove from pans and finish cooling on a wire rack. Fill and frost as desired. Enjoy!

*Original cake-spiration courtesy of Marsha's "Black Magic Cake" which can be found at AllRecipes.com. 

What's In The Box?

Your guess is as good as mine. 

 "I was walking down the street trying to catch up to some friends when I dropped something & it fell into a gutter. When I bent over to retrieve it, I saw that there were other 'valuable' looking things stuck in there. I got my thing first -not sure what it was, I remember it being the color red- Then I grabbed:
1. Cash wad. Approx. 13-14 dollars. 2. U.S. passport. [whose I dunno.] [didn't look.] 3. Sparkling silver ballet flats. One size too big, but I put them on anyway. 4. A small, ornate box. Expensive looking. I lightly shook it, but didn't open it. Though I know something was inside, I have no idea what it was? SO– WHOSE PASSPORT WAS IT? AND WHAT WAS IN THE BOX!?!?"

Any ideas?

Holidayz'd.

Every year I purchase a handblown ornament from Neiman Marcus as a gift for my mother (we like to pretend we're fancy). This tradition is always fun because it requires a trip to Union Square, which is quite the holiday spectacle. 

Anyway. (In a dream that I recently had.)

I realized that I had waited too late to make my trip to Neiman's and as a result I wouldn't be able to bring the much coveted box-o-class to Christmas. In a panic, I thought long and hard how to appease/please/delight my darling momma. Alas--   

I crafted her an ornament. With some old broken bulbs and a little glue, tape, and staples -yes, staples-, I made a super bad-ass, one of a kind, Christmas heirloom. 

You're welcome, mom. It's really the least I could do. Really.     

The New da Vinci? Doubtful.

I had the most delightful dream that I flew northbound from San Francisco. The Following illustrates how I flew. And please note, though it appears that the propeller is attached to my feet, it's actually affixed to the bottommost part of my 'fly-chair'. Also, yes, that is a plastic bag...

[Text Reads as follows:] 

Me flying. *Requires extreme arm strength, I was noticeably sore after my flight from San Francisco to Healdsburg (?). ? Might not have been Healdsburg, was possibly Sonoma. 

...Really cool shoes I bought after my flight. *The 'shoe store' was attatched [sic] to a large pearl factory/store & they had lots of unique shoes for reasonable prices. I believe I paid $50(ish) for these. 

–––––––––––––

It really was a strange dream. Though the flying could have been potentially scary -in fact I almost flew into a moving train at one point- it was actually very peaceful. And for the record: I will make these shoes someday (Christian Louboutin eat your heart out). Also, I promise to stop taking plastic bags for granted as I now realize that they make perfectly lovely parachutes/wind-conductors. Who knew?